At the end of August, Michael and I celebrated our six-year anniversary. I love celebrating! Anniversaries. Birthdays. Anything that can be celebrated, I will celebrate it! So when I told people that it was our sixth anniversary the reaction I got was less than stellar. The reaction got me thinking, why did they do that? Why did they say what they said? It doesn’t make any sense. Today I am going to share a little piece of advice that every married person needs to take and put into practice. When I say every married couple, I mean EVERY married couple. Stop laughing & start celebrating.
Monday morning I head to my workout class with a smile on face. Why do I have a smile on my face? Because it is my anniversary. For six years I have been married to a wonderful, kind, generous, and loving man. They have been the best six years of my life. I am on top of the world. We have made it through another year. I am so happy!
My class begins and someone makes a comment about how happy I am. I then proceed to tell my class that today is my anniversary and that I have been married for six years. What happened next made my heart sink. The majority of the class laughed. Why would they laugh? Why is being married for six years funny? I didn’t get it. Then the comments came. “Try being married for 25 years.” Which was said with extreme sarcasm. After that, I put two and two together.
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My six years was nothing to get excited about, it is when you reach 25 years that it is apparently a real accomplishment. My marriage was a mere glimpse on the marriage spectrum. This opinion is not ok with me. I am not ok with the majority of people out there thinking that a marriage that has only been in existence for 1, 2, 5, 10 years is laughable. And I am not ok with those same people thinking that their marriage is far superior to anyone else’s.
Marriage is hard. Marriage is not a walk in the park. It takes a ton of effort and each day brings a new challenge. I am constantly learning new things about Michael, about how we interact with each other, and how we love each other. Who we were at the beginning is not who we are today. People change and grow and so does the relationship. Even though Michael and I have gone through some tough times there is no one I would rather walk through life with than that amazing man. We have been in a relationship for ten years and in that time I have never once needed time away from him. I love hearing from him, sharing my day with him, laughing about stupid things with him, and getting his opinion about things. (Don’t worry we spend time apart) The point I am trying to make is I want to spend each day with him. I fully believe that is an accomplishment.
Think about how many married couples you know that still want that after 5, 10, 15, 25 years. Think about how many couples have called it quits. Again my point is marriage is hard. It takes dedication, sacrifice, time, and selflessness among many other characteristics. Craving a fruitful, passionate, loving, fun, incredible marriage is the accomplishment. Smiling each morning because you get to wake up next to your best friend is the accomplishment. Wanting to share the littlest thing with your spouse is the accomplishment. The number of years you have been married is not the accomplishment.
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Before you stop reading hear me out. The number of years does not make the marriage successful. Where the heart is in the marriage is determines its success. Where is your heart? Are you still madly in love with your spouse? Do desire to make your spouse happy? A number on the marriage does not make it good or successful. The heart is what matters.
So why is this blog post titled “Stop Laughing & Start Celebrating”? Married people need to do just that, stop laughing and start celebrating the anniversaries of other married people. When a friend hits their one-year anniversary congratulate them. When another friend hits their 5th, or 10th or 35th anniversary congratulate them. Each year that passes is a time to celebrate and reflect on the years past and the years to come. Married couples need to stop putting others down. Do not scoff at each other. Do not laugh. Do not “one-up” the other with how hard their marriage is. That is exactly how marriage gets a bad reputation. Marriage is a beautiful thing that should be celebrated! So let’s stop the negative talk and only lift each other up.
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What are your thoughts? Do you agree with me? I would love to read your thoughts!
SAVE FOR LATER!